She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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