Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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