Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
