My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
