The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
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i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
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I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
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