I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
