your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
