it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Found the puke drawer
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
