dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Randomize
