farters have to be the big spoon...
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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