if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
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This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
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I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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