called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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