I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
