dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize