he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
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