Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize