He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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