The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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