he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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