so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
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