I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Randomize
