Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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