those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
