in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Randomize
