i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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