sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
