I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
