He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
