well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Blood and glitter go together right?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
