I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
