if you like me you must not know who I am
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
