i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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