Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
