Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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