Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
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