But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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