erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize