Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Let's paint friendship bongs
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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