he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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