Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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