I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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