soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Randomize
