SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
