those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
