Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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