oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
