can we get nightvision for the apartment?
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
