..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Randomize
