Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
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