pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize