For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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