You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
love makes seman taste better
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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