But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
