so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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