I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
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