My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
