summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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