I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
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