We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
