is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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